I'm mumbling

So, it's sunday. I've the day off.
off course...
There's something, well a big thing which ruin my life and it goes through my body. I can't explain that, cause it's really embarrassing and it's such a big sin. I'm doing it at least for the past two days.To be honest it's addicted and I just can't live without it, even though I know that's not right but I'm still doing it anyways. I try hard to stop doing it, I even make a big note to remind me that 'that' thing I'm always doing it's totally wrong.

I had been told by someone in some place, that if someone still doing that it'll harm their body itself. Since that time, I think I was be able to stop the habit, but then here it goes to me again. I feel like a total dumb, I really want to stop it even it's hard.

I wish there's someone could help me, but I won't tell this bad habit to anybody somehow. I'm really messed up  now, whereas I have been doing a therapist to stop it, now it's come again. God, please help me show me your way.